


A Battle Between Pride and Shame

by orphan_account



Category: Glee
Genre: Blaine is vaguely mentioned, Can be seen as one-sided Kurt/Puck, Gen, Kurt comforts Puck, Mostly friendship, Puck is sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-18
Updated: 2013-05-18
Packaged: 2017-12-12 06:27:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/808354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He liked to think that he was two different people. There was Puck and there was Noah. Sometimes Noah came out of nowhere and offered to be a father to his kid and defended the gay kid who was probably as stressed as he was. He tried to muffle Noah and keep being Puck, because that’s what was expected of him. He needed to live up to everyone’s expectations.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Battle Between Pride and Shame

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this way back in season 2 and never posted it anywhere so. It references Puck possibly being depressed, so don't read it if that upsets you. The title is from Neon Cathedral.

Puck felt like he was suffocating.

He’d never had the perfect life. His dad ran out on his mom and him when his sister was born. He hasn’t seen him since. His mother turned to alcohol and was almost always drunk. He was always taking care of his sister, who was prone to panic attacks almost any time she was alone. The only time Puck could really relax is when he got a cheap fuck from one of the slutty girls at school. Eventually he realized he was inadvertently making a name for himself. He started to act a little differently each day. A dirty joke here. A dumb comment there. Soon he was an entirely different guy.

He liked to think that he was two different people. There was Puck and there was Noah. Sometimes Noah came out of nowhere and offered to be a father to his kid and defended the gay kid who was probably as stressed as he was. He tried to muffle Noah and keep being Puck, because that’s what was expected of him. He needed to live up to everyone’s expectations.

Then Puck started interfering with Noah’s life. One second he’s trying to get some money for Sarah’s birthday from an ATM and the next second he’s smashing the machine and being wrestled to the ground by the cops. For a moment he really thought his mom or _someone_ would come bail him out before he was sentenced to juvy. He even thought maybe someone would come visit him. Finn or Sam or even Mr. Schue. But he was only met with disappointment.

When he was finally released no one really realized his change in personality. It was like he wasn’t Noah _or_ Puck. He just sat in the back of the choir room, singing when necessary. When he went home and heard Sarah’s gasps and sobs in the next room, he rolled over and tried harder to fall asleep. He barely ate, barely talked. He assumed he was depressed, but what was there to do about it?

He made a silent pact with himself: if no one notices, then no one cares, if no one cares, then what was the point?

He was just sitting in his chair in the back, in his emotionless trance that he’d been stuck in since he got out of juvy. He didn’t realize the bell ring and the rest of the club leave. He didn’t notice when Kurt left his bag in the room when he left. He didn’t notice when Kurt came back in and spotted Puck still there, in the back.

“...Puck?” Kurt called out gently, rising no response from the boy. “Puck, are you okay?”

Suddenly it was like everything broke. He went to respond to Kurt nonchalantly but just let out a heart wrenching sob. Then he couldn’t stop, he brought his hand up to his face and tried to hide his tears from the boy in front of him.

After a few seconds Puck felt hesitant arms wrap themselves around him. He finally removed his hand from his face and saw Kurt’s own face just inches away from his. His face looked like he was uncomfortable but his eyes were sympathetic. He leaned into Kurt’s hug and continued crying.

It had taken what felt like hours of crying to calm Puck down enough to ask what he’d been thinking since the start of his tears.

“Why?”

“What?”

“Kurt, I tormented you for years. Then you walk in on me crying and you’re all concerned?” Puck’s voice cracked in the middle of his sentence.

“I-I,” Kurt looked down and saw he was still gripping Puck tightly then let go. Puck made a slight noise of disagreement. “I don’t know, I guess it was nice to see you actually have a heart.

“If we’re being truthful, I noticed you were a little off when you got back from juvy. I didn’t really say anything because we’re not close. I tried dropping hints to Finn that something was wrong but, you know, Finn.” Kurt and Puck chuckled a bit. “I was also wrapped up a little in my problems so I was being a little selfish. But no one deserves to be upset Puck.”

“I love you.” Puck said suddenly, making Kurt’s eyes go wide and his skin to go stark white. “I mean, not like romantically, just-I. We’ve been through a lot you and me, but we aren’t so different.”

Kurt, who regained some color to his skin, raised an eyebrow quizzically.

“I mean, we’ve both got problems but when it gets toughest we try to have each others’ backs right?”

Kurt smiled a bit, “I love you too, Noah Puckerman.”

Suddenly Teenage Dream started playing loudly throughout the room. Kurt blushed a deep red shade and plucked his phone from his bag.

“Who’s that? Cheating on me already?” Puck asked with a smirk.

Kurt smile widened and his blush reddened, “It’s one of the guys I met when I was spying on the Warblers.” Puck’s eyes narrowed, “Don’t look at me like that! He’s not Jessie St. James I promise.”

Puck listened as Kurt rambled on about this Warbler fellow. He felt a smile come on as Kurt’s eyes glazed over a bit whenever he said his name. It felt like the first time he’d smiled in years. It was like he was being smothered by a pillow and Kurt took the pillow off and playfully hit him with it. For once he didn’t feel like Puck or even Noah. He felt like Noah Puckerman. Like he could do whatever he wanted and Kurt wouldn’t care. Kurt didn’t expect anything of him. Kurt expected him to be himself.


End file.
